I Can Only Imagine.....

Yesterday as I was driving the kiddos to school, my favorite song was playing on the radio.  It's called "I Can Only Imagine", by MercyMe.  I can't hear that song without tears streaming down my face.  My kids questioned why I had tears and I asked them to listen to the words and then tell me what they will do when they see His face.  Here's the lyrics:

I can only imagine


What it will be like

When I walk

By your side


I can only imagine

What my eyes will see

When your face

Is before me

I can only imagine


[Chorus:]

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine


I can only imagine

When that day comes

And I find myself

Standing in the Son


I can only imagine

When all I will do

Is forever

Forever worship You

I can only imagine


[Chorus]


I can only imagine [x2]


I can only imagine

When all I will do

Is forever, forever worship you


A month or so ago, I went to the Doctor for a minor procedure.  It turned into a major, life changing event!  They thought I might have Ovarian Cancer.  They took blood and ran tests and in the end, they gave me a clean bill of health.  But while waiting a week for my test results to come back, I had plenty of time to evaluate my life and my relationships with my family and my Father in Heaven.  It was the most emotional week I have ever lived through.  Knowing that death is a side effect of cancer didn't help my emotional state.  I made many, many changes in my diet.  I hugged my kids a little harder and a little longer.  I broke out in tears at the slightest thing. 

What I learned is that I don't ever want to take my life for granted.  I don't ever want my kids to question whether or not their monther loved them.  I don't ever want life's simple pleasures to pass me by.  I want to fully live my life in such a way that those who know me, know I love my Father in Heaven and that I 'get' his call to serve others.  I used to long for the day when our children were raised and Scott and I could serve a mission in some third world country.  I dreamed of visiting children in orphanages  and holding them and singing songs to them, letting them know that someone loves them and cares about them.  I wanted to be able to take away their pain, if even for a few hours.

I still have that dream.  But now I dream of doing all of that for the children in my home and in my community.  You may wonder where my brain was.....wasn't I doing that already?  I was, but it felt more mechanical.  Now I get it.  I really do.  Being a mother to 10 amazing, challenging, loud, adorable, stinky, sweet children is a blessing that I thank my Father in Heaven for, not just daily but several times a day.

So, what will you do when you see His face?  To my knees will I fall.